Being a curvy woman is wonderful, liberating, empowering and just downright amazing. We should all be proud of our curves and celebrate being bootylicious as well as having the smarts and a big hearts. And even though we are well endowed, it comes with a list of issues that we go through on a daily basis that you may not know. I’d rather take a clean up on aisle nine than be stick thin and not have my shape!
1. We can’t fit thru small spaces. We think we can every time, but then we get closer we have to abort route A immediately. We have to opt for route B which involves a much more round about way and so many more steps to get to where we are going.
2. Trying to walk down an aisle of chairs is almost impossible. It’s safe to say in order to make room for ourselves, we’ll be on tiptoes to lift our cheeks high enough, holding our butts over the tops of the chairs as we shuffle our way down. We can only pray that the aisle is free of people, and if not, there will be some serious voluptuous bum to human contact. Eek!
3. All seating is a challenge. We can’t share seats because our asses take up the whole thing. We hate sitting on stools because our bums spill over, but why do they make them so small?! We don’t do chairs with arms, because we get stuck and don’t like the constant pressure on our hips. If we eye a seat on the train between two people, a thousand things rush through our heads, our palms get sweaty but we muster up the courage, hold our breath and go for it. We expand a lot when we sit down. We arrive early to bus stations and airports to avoid this.
4. If there are things on counters, shelves, tables, they will be knocked over…by our butts. Water will spill, things will break…in grocery stories, friends homes, public spaces, etc. We’ll ruin a thing or two and cause a scene. It just gets in the way sometimes and by that I mean all the time. Also, bumping into other people with our lower half is a typical occurrence on the daily. We’re really good at apologizing for our butt’s behavior.
5. We hate walking up the stairs with a large crowds behind us. Okay, with anyone behind us. All eyes are on us, I mean, our butts. We try our hardest to walk up as stiff as possible and to not sway back and forth, but we don’t because we can’t fight with gravity and our body anatomy. It looks suggestive, but it’s absolutely NOT. [SEE #7]
6. The level of concern we have about our underwear (or butt crack) showing when we bend over to pick up the things that our booties have knocked off, is unreal. And getting wedgies from “normal” undies is just a whole other conversation. Thongs (so we don’t have to pick our wedgies every thirty seconds) and high waisted pants are staples in my closet to avoid both of the above.
7. We are very aware of what our bodies look like. We know we have big butts, but we don’t like cat calling, and never will. We try to make it from A to B as fast as we can to avoid being bothered as much as possible. Sometimes we forget to breathe as we walk. Now we’re sweating.
Did we miss anything?! Let us know what you go through on the daily in the comment section below!