A trip to Anguilla back in 2014 cut deep but subsequently altered my thinking about how women interact and treat other women. It was (unfortunately) another pivotal moment in my life when I realized how nasty women treat each other. Celebrating my 30th birthday on this island changed my life in a way that was both shocking and glorious.
I was in the most paradisal setting ever, with someone who I used to be employed by. Another women. Another younger woman. A woman who, from the outside looks to be “very successful ($) and happy,” but behind closed doors, questionable. I was deemed ‘family’ by her and her husband, finally realizing it was just the allure of getting me to work harder and to stay loyal. My record proved time and time again to be just that (and more). I was raised by two extraordinary parents to be an honest and loyal worker. I never called out sick in the three years I worked for her and always gave 150% effort. Don’t ever question my character. My loyalty and efforts were diminished, done so behind my back. My goals, ambition and kind heart were being taken advantage of, as opposed to empowered, supported, and encouraged. After her harrowing personality came to light (it was always there, my disposition wouldn’t acknowledge it), I built up enough courage, landed a new job, then gleefully resigned from my position. She informed all others that she had fired me. I haven’t heard from her since.
These darker yet, intensely liberating moments in my life continue to shape who I am and reinforce my morals and what I stand for. Women need to support women more. I cannot say this enough. I don’t know what her issue was with me and I don’t dwell on it. I did my job, and I did it well, with grace. I thank her for making delusional and deranged claims about how she effected my life, and I quote ” I made her who she is,” (HA!) and am exorbitantly thankful for the prime example she set of the woman I never want, and never will be.
I share this story in hopes you can learn from this. Stop being nasty to one another. Stop being a mean girl. If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. Stop being jealous. Stop feeling less than. Stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by other women. Stop bullying. Stop spending time thinking or talking badly about other women and spend more time with yourself. Start believing in other women. Start believing in YOURSELF more. Start loving one another. Start loving YOURSELF more.
You have my support. You are enough. You are courageous. You have what it takes, trust me! You are in control to do whatever it is that you want to do with your life. If you want to quit your job working for a pathetically despondent woman and work for yourself, YOU CAN! There are some things we are just born with, such as our personalities and the shapes of our bodies that we can’t quite change, but as my mother has always said, “control the controllables.”
All photos were taken on my iPhone
Viceroy Hotel Group has ceased all sales and reservation services for Viceroy Anguilla. They have rebranded as the Four Seasons and will reopen late 2016. They have an annual closure from August to October, so if you are looking to travel within that time period, I would suggest the Viceroy in St. Lucia!